Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
