My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
