It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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