Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
