I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
