the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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