Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
