I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
