i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Oh god it's open bar.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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