Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
