I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
