you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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