How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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