Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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