The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
