You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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