I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
