i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
