i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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