wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
