he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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