I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
