carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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