i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
