Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
