cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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