the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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