And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
