first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
