Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
