My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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