Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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