9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
