You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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