You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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