she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize