lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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