Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
