Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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