I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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