What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
