I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
