help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
