I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
