apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
