Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
