is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
