My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
