She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
