do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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