Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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