and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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