he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Someone came in the potted fern
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
