i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
