next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
