This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
