ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
