If i come over, it means nothing
I didn't shave. On purpose
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
