Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
