he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
They have beer where we have blood.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he just fucked me for my cheese.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
