saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Randomize
