So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
whose ass print is on the piano?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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