I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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