i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
