Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
