so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
