I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
