In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
