Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
