Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
