normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
