i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize