i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize