Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
