She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
