**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
did i walk over a car last night?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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