He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
