Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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