at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
