I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
